Help Coach! There's Conflict in the Workplace

One of the slipperiest slopes supervisors often find themselves on is having two employees upset with one another who then come to the supervisor to resolve the differences. They’re transferring responsibility for the situation from themselves to the supervisor. If not handled properly, this can become a lose-lose proposition. To have the best possible outcome, the supervisor needs to become a co-facilitator.

The word facilitate comes from the French word “facile” which means “to make easy.” The goal of a manager, or “coach” in this situation, is to help the two concerned parties to facilitate their own solution. So, in this sense, the coach becomes a co-facilitator. Good coaches realize they must not take the responsibility on their own shoulders to solve the problem but help the two people come up with their own solution. They keep the burden of responsibility while agreeing to help facilitate a solution.

A Coach’s First Line of Defense

Let’s say Al has a disagreement with Bonita. Al comes to your office complaining about Bonita, and asks you to help resolve the issue.  As a coach, your first line of defense is to ask Al if he has talked to Bonita about this situation. Encourage him to have a face-to-face conversation with Bonita and see if the two of them can work things out. Once you are satisfied that the two of them have met and discussed things but were not able to resolve their differences, you may then decide to become a co-facilitator in the situation.

The methodology for this co-facilitation process is very specific and detailed. There are five key steps that, if executed well, will usually lead to a mutually satisfying resolution. Let’s look at each step separately, and then put them all together at the end.

Step 1: find neutral ground on which to conduct your meeting. Do NOT meet at either of the employee’s offices or work stations. And if possible, get out of your office also. Find a conference room or some other room that is totally enclosed and private. You want all parties involved to feel that this meeting will be private and confidential. The way you seat the three of you for this meeting is also critical. Have employee A face employee B in chairs – knee to knee and several feet apart. Your chair should be to the side of both of them, placed three feet or so back and also centered in the middle of them. 

Step 2: Establish protocol. Greet the two participants and tell them the purpose of the meeting. In the example given above, you would explain to Bonita that Al had come to you with a challenge, you had asked the two of them to meet, and it appears that the situation is still not totally resolved. Tell them that the purpose of this meeting is for you to FACILITATE a resolution between the two of them.

Explain the two key guidelines for the discussion: 

1) Only one person should speak at a time

2) Each person should try to share “facts” only – what they saw or heard.

Step 3: Manage the process. Begin by asking the originating party (Al in this case) to share his concern. Once Al has finished speaking, give Bonita a chance to share her perspective on the situation. During the conversation, remain neutral as best you can and follow the protocol mentioned above (you’ll probably have to keep reminding them of facts only and only one person speaking at a time). From time to time, summarize the issues as you’ve heard them.

Step 4: Assume the role of a confidant. Ask solution-focused questions during the discussion while looking for answers or compromises to the situation. Some examples of these kinds of questions include: 

What do you think might work in this situation?

How do you see this working out?

When do you think you could start this new procedure?

Help the two parties come to a mutually agreeable resolution. Be careful not to force any solution on either party, as this usually leads to having to re-visit the situation.

Step 5: Agree to re-visit the situation. It usually sounds something like this: “Al and Bonita, I’m pleased that you’ve come to an agreed-upon solution to this situation. I’d like for us to meet back in this same room at the same time next week just for a check-up on how it’s going. Then if we need to make any adjustments, we can do so and keep this thing moving positively forward. Thank you – I’ll see you both here next week.” This impending meeting usually causes both Al and Bonita to work hard to make the solution work, because they know they will be held accountable the following week.

By utilizing this process, and keeping the responsibility firmly on Al and Bonita, you are fulfilling the job of a good coach – building people while getting results!

Did you know training outcomes are 87% more effective when effective coaching is added? Find out how you can boost your training results by clicking here. Rich Meiss is a senior training consultant for The Bob Pike Group and workshop facilitator of Coaching for Success which teaches supervisors and managers strategies and skills for dealing with tough people issues.

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