Editor’s note: Kathy Dempsey was the first health care worker to have a positive HIV test after having worked with a patient with AIDS. Receiving that news in 1987 started her on a path which gave her a radically different perspective on learning and living. The following is excerpted from her book Shed or You’re Dead: 31 unConventional Strategies for Growth and Change.

What I have discovered over the years is that I learn more from the mistakes I make than the successes and I learn something from everyone I meet. Many of the thoughts and ideas in this book smack right in the face of conventional wisdom…stay with me and be open to what you can learn…even from the crazy strategies!

Yes, be blunt! Tell it like it is! Spare no one’s feelings. “Sam that is the ugliest tie I have ever seen! Don’t tell me you paid money for that!”

Okay, okay, okay…maybe we can’t just blurt out EVERYTHING we think! And being too blunt can hurt the feelings of others. So, what is the morsel we learn from being blunt?

Most of us have had occasion to observe people who tell it like it is. They don’t mess around with trying to sugarcoat anything! They are candid, forthright straight shooters, sometimes so painfully honest, it stings!

This reminds me of a cold winter morning several years ago. It was 6 a.m. when I hopped in my car and left Chattanooga heading to Atlanta for a National Speakers Association meeting. As I pulled off the freeway exit ramp, I noticed a man sitting on an old egg crate box on the side of the road.

The man was wrapped tightly in a dirty old plaid jacket, brown knit hat, black gloves, and a red wool scarf. He was bundled up so snugly that I could barely see his eyes.

As I approached the stoplight, I looked down and saw a sign he was fighting to keep up against the wind. It read, “I’ll be honest, I want beer.” I did a double take and read the sign again.

This man was a beggar attempting to blatantly elicit money from the drivers exiting off the ramp so he could go buy beer. I was shocked when the car in front of me stopped and threw a few bills into his shoe box.

A variety of emotions flooded my mind. Most of them, I must admit, were negative. Why would anybody stop and give money to someone who admitted they were going to buy beer instead of food to sustain themselves?

As I drove into the parking garage at the meeting site one thought kept blaring out. This guy was honest! I might not have respected anything else about the man but at least he was honest…with himself and with others.

The blunt person can teach us to tell it like it is. All too often we refuse to be honest with ourselves and others. When we are not honest, everybody loses. And until we can face the truth, sometimes the brutal truth, we can’t move on in our growth.

Take 60 seconds, and ask yourself, “What is something that has been holding me back? Maybe something I need to be honest with myself about my life, my work or my relationships?”

As Walter Anderson said, “Our lives improve only when we take chances—and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.”

Kathy Dempsey is a consultant, professional speaker, author and a Senior Trainer/Consultant with The Bob Pike Group. Purchase Kathy's book Shed or You’re Dead!